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I asked why we kept trying for so long, why we even came…

“I asked why we kept trying for so long, why we even came to Paris, if we both knew we never really stood a chance. “Because that’s what you’re supposed to do,” he said. “You’re supposed to keep working on your marriage.” It was awful to me, this idea that keeping a marriage together was like…” quote by Laura van den Berg
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““I asked why we kept trying for so long, why we even came to Paris, if we both knew we never really stood a chance. “Because that’s what you’re supposed to do,” he said. “You’re supposed to keep working on your marriage.” It was awful to me, this idea that keeping a marriage together was like laying pipe or digging a ditch. But he was right: it was what people had told us we were supposed to do. We had listened to sentences containing words like “salvage” and “repair” and nodded dumbly, pretending we didn’t know any better. It was an affront to everyone involved.””

Laura van den Berg

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Societal expectations pressure couples into maintaining relationships despite incompatibility, leading to resentment.

In simple terms: People feel forced to stay together.

Key Takeaway

Question norms and prioritize genuine connection.

Themes

marriage societal pressure expectations

Mood

conflicted thoughtful

Type

philosophical critical

When to use this quote

  • counseling sessions
  • family gatherings
  • life milestones
  • relationship crises

Key Concepts

commitment communication authenticity

Questions to Reflect On

  • What would a healthy partnership look like without external pressure?
  • How can couples redefine “success” in marriage?
A Different Perspective

Not all marriages benefit from forced perseverance.

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