Happiness is…finding two olives in your martini when youre…

Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.'…

— Jim Gaffigan

Some of the biggest bores I've ever known are men who have been highly successful in business, particularly self-made heads of big companies. Before…

— Malcolm Forbes

For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that resemble disfigured celebrities, and most of…

— David Sedaris

All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.

— Tallulah Bankhead

I am grateful for what I call well-spent moments: Making a tuna fish sandwich with the works. Taking at least a half hour to…

— Sarah Ban Breathnach

Let us candidly admit that there are shameful blemishes on the American past, of which the worst by far is rum. Nevertheless, we have…

— Bernard DeVoto

You can try to trick the people and come out wearing a fedora and a tuxedo but that's not me. I was born in…

— Michael Buble

I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl's leaning on it drinking a…

— George Clooney

Here are a few of the actors who have brought my novels to TV life: Bill Pullman, Holly Hunter, Frances McDormand, Julian Sands, Gena…

— Luanne Rice

I think I'm probably much better at the boots and pocket knife thing than I am at the high heels and martini thing.

— Sarah Wayne Callies

I'm not out there screaming that women are drinking bourbon, but I think it's a great beverage as an option. I've got nothing against…

— Mila Kunis

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

— Robert Benchley

Cosmo glasses have a heavy bottom to it that makes it easy to hold and carry around, but also is a nice shape and…

— Tom Sandoval

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and…

— Woody Allen

I'm definitely an anomaly, but I'm making things. They're selling, say, martinis, and I'm kind of making vintage Riesling. People aren't going to sit…

— Ben Folds