P.G. Wodehouse

“If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Good Lord, Jeeves! Is there anything you don’t know?’ ‘I couldn’t say, sir.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Henry lived in a boarding-house in Guildford Street.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Bertie, do you read Tennyson?" "Not if I can help.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“He was in the frame of mind when a weaker man would have started writing poetry.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The awful part of the writing game is that you can never be sure the stuff is any good.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“He must be provided with a claque. It will be your task, Jeeves,”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“She gave the impression of smiling with difficulty, possibly for fear of getting wrinkles.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for the leak in a…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I’ve just become a Socialist. It’s a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Tell me," said Ashe gratefully, leaning forward in an attitude of attention, "all about the lining of your stomach.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Well, if he comes when I'm out, tell him to wait. And now, Jeeves, mes gants, mon chapeau, et le whangee de…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“More and more clearly as the scones disappeared into his interior he saw that what the sensible man wanted was a wife…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I sank into a chair and mopped the frontal bone. Not for many a long day had I been in such a…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Life in the country, with its lack of intellectual stimulus, has caused his natural feebleness of mind to reach a stage which…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The fact that pigs were abroad in the night seemed to bring home to me the perilous nature of my enterprise.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“What George was thinking was that the late king Herod had been unjustly blamed for a policy which had been both statesmanlike…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“She had turned away and was watching a duck out on the lake. It was tucking into weeds, a thing I've never…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that she was tall and willowy…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“One of the advantages a sister has when arguing with a brother is that she is under no obligation to be tactful.…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Young Reggie Foljambe to my certain knowledge offered him double what I was giving him, and Alistair Bingham-Reeves, who's got a valet…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she's the sort of girl who would want a fellow to…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Tell him my future is in his hands and that, if the wedding bells ring out, he can rely on me, even…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“What you want," I said, "is to look out for a chance and save her from drowning." "I can't swim." That was…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“There is, of course, this to be said for the Omnibus Book in general and this one in particular. When you buy…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“In love with me. Don't be absurd." "My dear old thing, you don't know young Bingo. He can fall in love with…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Do you realise that about two hundred of Twing's heftiest are waiting for you outside to chuck you into the pond?" "No!"…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“If you are ignorant of Lora Delane Porter’s books that is your affair. Perhaps you are more to be pitied than censured.…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“We part, then, for the nonce, do we?' 'I fear so, sir.' 'You take the high road, and self taking the low…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“At eight o'clock he fell asleep in a chair; and, having undressed him by unbuttoning every button in sight and, where there…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Jeeves," I said, "listen attentively. I don't want to give the impression that I consider myself one of those deadly coves who…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Don't blame me, Pongo,' said Lord Ickenham, 'if Lady Constance takes her lorgnette to you. God bless my soul, though, you can't…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“In fact, it seemed to him that he could almost hear the wedding bells ringing already. Then, coming out of his dreams,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Fond as he was of Pongo, Lord Ickenham could not see him as a breaker of hearts. Yet it appeared plain that…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Hear that, Eustace? He wishes we were staying a good long time." "I expect it will seem a good long time," said…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The cheers of the multitude frequently act like a powerful drug upon young gentlemen with inferiority complexes.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Sir Jasper Finch-Farrowmere?’ said Wilfred. ‘ffinch-ffarrowmere,’ corrected the visitor, his sensitive ear detecting the capitals.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I say, you don't know how I could raise fifty quid somehow, do you?" "Why don't you work?" "Work?" said young Bingo,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Didn't Frankenstein get married?" "Did he?" said Eggy. "I don't know. I never met him. Harrow man, I expect.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The man was goggling. His entire map was suffused with a rich blush. He looked like the Soul's Awakening done in pink.”

— P.G. Wodehouse