P.G. Wodehouse

“No burglar wastes his time burgling authors.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“She has an eye like a man-eating fish”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“These dreamer types do live, don't they?”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“You two fit like pork and beans.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“liberally equipped with one-way pockets”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I was as limpid as dammit.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“i gave a start as if goosed from behind”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The object of all good literature is to purge the soul of its petty troubles.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Good God, Clarence! You look like a bereaved tapeworm.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Every day you seem to know less and less about more and more”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Come on," he said. "Bring the poker." I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“But why do you want me? I mean, what am I? Ask yourself that." "I often have.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“He scattered his aitches as a fountain its sprays in a strong wind. He was very earnest.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“It just showed once again that half the world doesn’t know how the other three quarters live”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Ask the first lion cub you meet, and it will tell you that, once you’ve tasted blood, there is no pulling up,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Vladimir specialized in grey studies of hopeless misery, where nothing happened till page 380, when the muzhik decided to commit suicide.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Mary, in these days, simply couldn't see that he was on the earth. She looked round him, above him, and through him,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“You can't go by what a girl says, when she's giving you the devil for making a chump of yourself. It's like…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“A depressing musty scent pervaded the place, as if a cheese had recently died there in painful circumstances.”

— P.G. Wodehouse

“She said I would find Oswald out in the grounds, and such is a mother's love that she spoke as if that…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Never mind," I said crisply. "I have my methods." I dug out my entire stock of manly courage, breathed a short prayer…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“He was rigidly truthful, where the issue concerned only himself. Where it was a case of saving a friend, he was prepared…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The effect now was much the same as if I had been listening in to a dramatic sketch on the wireless. I…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Take it for all in all, a representative gathering of Twing life and thought. The Nibs were whispering in a pleased manner…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I don't know when I've experienced a more massive silence than the one that followed my reading of his cheery epistle. Young…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“This Miss Wooster that I knew married a man named Spenser. Was she any relation?" "She is my Aunt Agatha," I replied,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Change of scene is the thing. I head of a man. Girl refused him. Man went abroad. Two months later girl wired…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Bertie, old man," said young Bingo earnestly, "for the last two weeks I've been comforting the sick to such an extent that,…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“The Paddock was one of those medium-sized houses with a goodish bit of very tidy garden and a carefully rolled gravel drive…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat." Beale's narrative style closely resembled that of…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Sippy had described them as England's premier warts, and it looked to me as if he might be about right. Professor Pringle…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“I suppose the fundamental distinction between Shakespeare and myself is one of treatment. We get our effects differently. Take the familiar farcical…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“You ate something that disagreed with you last night, didn't you?' I said, by way of giving him a chance to slide…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“They walked on in silence. Katie's heart was beating with a rapidity that forbade speech. Nothing like this very direct young man…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Now look here, old friend," I said. "I know your bally heart is broken and all that, and at some future time…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that a thunderstorm of…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“How anybody can compose a story by word of mouth face to face with a bored-looking secretary with a notebook is more…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“London was too big to be angry with. It took no notice of him. It did not care whether he was glad…

— P.G. Wodehouse

“Some slight friction threatening in the Balkans, sir.”

— P.G. Wodehouse