It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed. — Mark Twain Audience Copy Share Image
Eloquence is the essential thing in a speech, not information. — Mark Twain Communication Copy Share Image
There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Bible is a wonderful book; you can prove anything you want with it. — Mark Twain Bible Copy Share Image
Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it. — Mark Twain Government Copy Share Image
A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and… — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining. — Mark Twain Banker Copy Share Image
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration. — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Army Copy Share Image
“When you find yourself on the side of the majority, you should pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus. — Mark Twain Father Copy Share Image
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in. — Mark Twain Inspirational Copy Share Image
“Dear me, what would this barren vocabulary get out of the mightiest spectacle?—the burning of Rome in Nero's time, for instance? Why,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Look at the mother of Washington! She raised a boy that could not tell a lie--could not tell a lie! But he… — Mark Twain Boys Copy Share Image
“little smoke couldn't be noticed now, so we would take some fish off of the lines and cook up a hot breakfast.… — Mark Twain Lonesomeness Copy Share Image
“Tom found himself writing "BECKY" in the sand with his big toe; he scratched it out, and was angry with himself for… — Mark Twain Writer Copy Share Image
It was the most earnest ambition I ever had…Not that I ever really wanted to be a preacher, but because it never… — Mark Twain Ambition Copy Share Image
A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“In your country and mine we should have the privilege of making fun of this kind of morality, but it would be… — Mark Twain Bible Copy Share Image
“Klonite se ljudi koji će pokušati omalovažiti vaše ambicije. Mali ljudi čine takve stvari, dok veliki ljudi mogu učuniti da se osetite… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, & to… — Mark Twain Bitterness Copy Share Image
It has been reported that I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead--the other man again...As far as… — Mark Twain American flag Copy Share Image
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A… — Mark Twain Blue Copy Share Image
Narrative should flow as flows the brook down through the hills and the leafy woodlands...a brook that never goes straight for a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence is likely to be at fault, after all, and therefore ought to be received… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
God made all the animals in a single day; he could have swept them all away in the flood and re-created them… — Mark Twain Animal Copy Share Image
“The coyote is a long, slim, sick and sorry-looking skeleton, with a gray wolfskin stretched over it, a tolerably bushy tail that… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse… — Mark Twain Absence Copy Share Image
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. — Mark Twain Cigar Copy Share Image
Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so. — Mark Twain Atheism Copy Share Image
