“Love-that which biologists, nervous about being misunderstood call "attachment"-fuels the bond between dog and master or mistress.” — John Bradshaw Animal Copy Share Image
Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment. — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial.” — John Bradshaw Abuse-survivors Copy Share Image
“A racket is a family-authorized feeling used to replace an unacceptable and shameful feeling.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Chronically dysfunctioning families are also delusional. Delusion is sincere denial. — John Bradshaw Delusion Copy Share Image
As a child I was not allowed to express my feelings, so I had to go back through therapy and express the… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
There are plenty of quacks in the field. Fewer than you'd expect, though still plenty (in alternative medicine). — John Bradshaw Age Copy Share Image
The foundation for our self-image is grounded in the first three years of life. It comes from our major caretaker's mirroring. — John Bradshaw Caretakers Copy Share Image
“Anger is often blocked from conscious awareness and converted into more tolerable or family-authorized feelings, such as hurt or guilt. The person… — John Bradshaw Anger Copy Share Image
In 'Reclaiming Virtue,' I argue that we have had an element missing in moral education. That element is 'affect.' Affect is simply… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Superachievement and perfectionism are two of the leading cover-ups for toxic shame. As paradoxical as it may seem, the straight-A student and… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and… — John Bradshaw Shamed Copy Share Image
“The roles are like scripts given out for a play. They prescribe what feelings you can or cannot have. After playing my… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“It is very common for one or both parents in a dysfunctional marriage to bond inappropriately with one of their children. The… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“Much has been written about codependency. All agree that it is about the loss of selfhood. Codependency is a condition wherein one… — John Bradshaw Happiness Copy Share Image
“When two-year-olds are thwarted (like every three minutes), they have intense anger and temper tantrums. At this stage the child needs to… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“This transformation involves three dynamics: 1. The identification with shame-based models and the carrying of their unexpressed shame. 2. The trauma of… — John Bradshaw Change Copy Share Image
“NEED SHAME BINDS When these needs are neglected, children are given the message that their needs are not important, and they lose… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
“High achievement is often the result of being driven by toxic shame. Feeling flawed and defective on the inside, I had to… — John Bradshaw Achievement Copy Share Image
The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
I define a 'good person' as somebody who is fully conscious of their own limitations. They know their strengths, but they also… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
Science has so far been unable to tell us how self-aware dogs are, much less whether they have anything like our conscious… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“SHAME-BASED FAMILIES AND MULTIGENERATIONAL ILLNESS One of the devastating aspects of toxic shame is that it is multigenerational. The secret and hidden… — John Bradshaw Family Copy Share Image
“Our healthy shame is essential as the foundation of our spirituality. By reminding us of our essential limitations, our healthy shame lets… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“WHEN GOD IS A DRUG—RELIGIOUS ADDICTION Mood alteration is an ingredient of compulsive/addictive behavior. Addiction has been described as “a pathological relationship… — John Bradshaw Addiction Copy Share Image
“Toxic shame, the shame that binds us, is experienced as the all-pervasive sense that “I am flawed and defective as a human… — John Bradshaw Guilt Copy Share Image
“Blushing manifests the exposure, the unexpectedness, the involuntary nature of shame. In On Shame and the Search for Identity Helen Lynd writes,… — John Bradshaw Blushing Copy Share Image
“Toxic shame, with its more-than-human, less-than-human polarization, is either inhuman or dehumanizing. The demand for a false self to cover and hide… — John Bradshaw Authentic self Copy Share Image
“When emotionally abandoned people describe their childhoods, it is always without feeling. Alice Miller writes, They recount their earliest memories without any… — John Bradshaw Childhood Copy Share Image
“Generally speaking, most of our vital, spontaneous, instinctual life gets shamed. Children are shamed for being too rambunctious, for wanting things and… — John Bradshaw Children Copy Share Image
“All human development, according to Silvan Tompkins, is rooted in affect (feeling) dynamics because affects (feelings) are the primary innate biological motivator… — John Bradshaw Anger Copy Share Image
“Alice Miller has summed up these rules under the title “Poisonous Pedagogy” in her book For Your Own Good. These rules state:… — John Bradshaw Child Copy Share Image
The more we know about how we lost our spontaneous wonder and creativity, the more we can find ways to get them… — John Bradshaw Creativity Copy Share Image
Evil is a source of moral intelligence in the sense that we need to learn from our shadow, from our dark side,… — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.” — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“Shyness can become a serious problem when it is rooted in toxic shame.” — John Bradshaw Shame Copy Share Image
To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality. — John Bradshaw Copy Share Image
All these feelings need to be felt. We need to stomp and storm; to sob and cry; to perspire and tremble. — John Bradshaw Cry Copy Share Image
