The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the… — Carl Hiaasen Iguanas Copy Share Image
“Despite the meatiness of his fingers, Dominick showed himself to be a nimble texter.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“In his love life Yancy specialized in devising scenarios that could lead only to unwise decisions.” — Carl Hiaasen Decision making Copy Share Image
“The Dragon Queen was firm: No sex, no more voodoo curses on Christopher.” — Carl Hiaasen Queen Copy Share Image
Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page,… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
The one thing a lifetime in the newspaper business teaches you is pace - you spend all your time trying to make… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
“The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've… — Carl Hiaasen Natural selection Copy Share Image
When I was writing Razor Girl, I thought it would be fun to have a redneck TV family that was really just… — Carl Hiaasen Actors Copy Share Image
We've always been fascinated with movie stars and singers, but the fascination with people who really have nothing to offer is something… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
From my experience, politicians are much more uncomfortable being made fun of than they are being preached at and screeched at -… — Carl Hiaasen Fun Copy Share Image
Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the… — Carl Hiaasen Books Copy Share Image
“I believe it's never too late to change. I'm eighty-one years old, but I still think I can be a better person… — Carl Hiaasen Better person Copy Share Image
as a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government.… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
It's actually not very hard to re-set between the adult novels and the ones for younger readers. The narrative voices are very… — Carl Hiaasen Adults Copy Share Image
All novels are about crime. You'd be hard pressed to find any novel that does not have an element of crime. I… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
Here's my rule: You always want to pay cash for your own books, because if they look at the name on the… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
Lots of people can write a good first page but to sustain it, that's my litmus test. If I flip to the… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
The Thieves of Manhattan is a sly and cutting riff on the book-publishing world that is quite funny unless you happen to… — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
Nobody with an IQ higher than emergency-room temperature could ever believe that 'death panels' would be appointed to nudge the elderly toward… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“A big farming operation like his was a challenging enterprise, relying as it did on rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of… — Carl Hiaasen Business Copy Share Image
I love reality shows. The folks who dream up some of these concepts are either geniuses, or totally stoned. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“The vandals didn’t stand a chance against five hundred–odd pounds of badass dog flesh. They” — Carl Hiaasen Vandals Copy Share Image
My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a… — Carl Hiaasen Anger Copy Share Image
“From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?" "First I need a virgin.” — Carl Hiaasen Humorous Copy Share Image
I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book. — Carl Hiaasen Book Copy Share Image
The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
It's easy to get distracted by the vaudevillian aspects of the healthcare debate. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“Shreave flicked away the dead mosquito. "Don't these things carry the bird flu too?" "No Boyd, that would be a bird.” — Carl Hiaasen Bird flu Copy Share Image
“Nope. He lives over in Boca Raton.” “Oh fuck, Red.” “I know, it’s hor’ble. That’s how come the five hundred a day.” — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“The victim’s hand was contracted into a fist except for the middle digit, which was rigidly extended.” — Carl Hiaasen Fist Copy Share Image
Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it. — Carl Hiaasen Comedy Copy Share Image
The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. — Carl Hiaasen Comedy Copy Share Image
Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck. — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
“Miami ... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.” — Carl Hiaasen Capital Copy Share Image
