“The French: a people who have used their sophisticated culture and beautiful language to bequeath to the world the sliced potato.” — Bauvard English Copy Share Image
“I have never sought to displease; I merely seek pleasure and avoid the pain it causes those who work to produce it.… — Bauvard Leisure Copy Share Image
“We live in one of the few epochs of humanity where life isn't just a painful cycle of toil, fatigue, and collapse.… — Bauvard Humanity Copy Share Image
“When one's unconscious is full of vice, nothing realizes inner potential like hypocrisy.” — Bauvard Hypocrisy Copy Share Image
“Buddhism: a violent religion that has compensated for the exploding human population by causing whole species of animal vessels to go extinct.” — Bauvard Animals Copy Share Image
“Spontaneous abortion: the opposite of immaculate conception. God has compensated for Christianity’s violent history by revealing that innocent blood does not have… — Bauvard Immaculate conception Copy Share Image
“Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner… — Bauvard Regret Copy Share Image
“I dropped out of school and congratulated myself for my diligence. Few realize how hard one has to work to resist the… — Bauvard Hard work Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace… — Bauvard Dream Copy Share Image
“I don’t believe in a lot of phenomena that fall under the term ‘parapsychology.’ Especially that one branch, psychology. You’re going to… — Bauvard Parapsychology Copy Share Image
“You can always tell the quality of an author by their cover picture. Bad writers bear an idiotic smile on the inside… — Bauvard Books Copy Share Image
“I may be slow, but I know a racist when I’m called one - and I am proud to support the supremacy… — Bauvard Proud Copy Share Image
“I happen to find ceilings much lovelier than the night sky myself. Sometimes I just stare at them for hours and wonder… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“When you don't hold your pipe with the proper poise, smoking is very hazardous for your image.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on… — Bauvard Electric chair Copy Share Image
“So many things happen that we can't control, its best not to worry about what we can. Believing you can change the… — Bauvard Change the world Copy Share Image
“I love the smell of a new book, but I prefer inhaling fresh bottles of ink and glue. They get me more… — Bauvard Book Copy Share Image
“Dentistry is a precondition to love at first sight. When your eyes meet she beams with happiness, but when you smile back… — Bauvard Dentistry Copy Share Image
“To die famous is the goal of the immortal. To die young is the goal of the healthy. To die memorably is… — Bauvard Ambition Copy Share Image
“Children should have a balanced diet. They should only consume sugar, salt, and fat in equal quantities.” — Bauvard Balanced diet Copy Share Image
“When someone gives me either a democratic or republican pamphlet, I throw it in their face. I’m a librarian, damn it! We… — Bauvard Books Copy Share Image
“Somewhere in the background of magnificence lurks the kitchen staff. But a magnificent person only forgets about his origins, never his brunch.” — Bauvard Food Copy Share Image
“I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the… — Bauvard Book Copy Share Image
“The stars have a strong effect on our daily shopping lives. Hollywood is astrology’s only credible conspiracy.” — Bauvard Astrology Copy Share Image
“Neighbors are the most indecent sort of folk around. Nothing but voyeurs and gossipers. As a community we would be much better… — Bauvard Community Copy Share Image
“When a person encounters his own statue and takes a hammer to it, performance art adds depth to greatness.” — Bauvard Art Copy Share Image
“When cultivating your garden, keep the soil healthy with encroachers. The most redolent flowers grow over graves.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Cannibal: epicures who abstain from alcohol and tobacco. As moral guides, they are underutilized in the police forces of modern societies. ” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I just wanted the rain to come so I could help grow something. But I became a part of so much more”… — Bauvard Dirt Copy Share Image
“First people lose their hair, then their vices, then their motivation. Then a toupee brings it all flowing back.” — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“Hypocrisy is a quality found in others. I am an optimist. I believe that saying the right thing will eventually cause people… — Bauvard Hypocrisy Copy Share Image
“It is remarkably precocious when a person accomplishes anything after the age of thirty.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Attacking the person instead of the argument is condemned in logic, widespread in physics, and not used nearly enough in humanism.” — Bauvard Argument Copy Share Image
“Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Religious fasting is the best way to cure an anorexic's spirit: in heaven her condition will be normal.” — Bauvard Anorexia Copy Share Image
“There are lots of things sons shouldn’t imagine about their mothers, above all what it was like to become one.” — Bauvard Mothers Copy Share Image
“The only way to tell a fable is to introduce a human. The only way to tell a proverb is to introduce… — Bauvard Proverb Copy Share Image
“Moderation: a median with no means, praised by those with no misfortunes, practiced by those with no merits.” — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“Divorce runs high these days, but I’m an exception to the norm. I got divorced when marriage was still popular.” — Bauvard Divorce Copy Share Image
“Self-awareness of one’s faults, far from being the first step to growth, is very often the second foot in the mud.” — Bauvard First step Copy Share Image
