“Men only treat women like princesses when they want to use them like prostitutes.” — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“Folk wisdom: quaint sayings of urban sophisticates compiled from the suburbs.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Use condoms; it’s wise not to gamble with your children's future.” — Bauvard Children Copy Share Image
“Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.” — Bauvard Comedy Copy Share Image
“Careers are not made in a family business, they are born – by patricide. Then they die from neglect, and avoid the… — Bauvard Business Copy Share Image
“Inconsistent parenting creates confusion. When I'm pitting mom against dad, they never know what to expect.” — Bauvard Child Copy Share Image
“Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college… — Bauvard Alphabet Copy Share Image
“The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain… — Bauvard Bright ideas Copy Share Image
“Making love to a person in their sleep is the only guarantee they'll wake up with a smile on their face.” — Bauvard Funny Copy Share Image
“I lacked the knowledge of linear perspective needed to get into the art school, so now I whitewash walls and imagine I’m… — Bauvard Art Copy Share Image
“It is a known fact that pain and pleasure are the two most basic elements of life. But the secret is to… — Bauvard Life Copy Share Image
“One never owns a book. It sits on your shelf in a fine edition like a piece of furniture, and you are… — Bauvard Book Copy Share Image
“It is so wearisome having to represent things. That is why I refuse to look at abstract art. It is much too… — Bauvard Abstract art Copy Share Image
“The smaller the dinner table, the better the side conversation: you can gossip about the guests without fearing whether you will be… — Bauvard Communication Copy Share Image
“Like a valet who commits grand theft auto not to go for a joy ride but to open a used car lot,… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I was sitting on your couch, relating my succession of ideas on subconscious influence. I asked… — Bauvard Dream Copy Share Image
“As a captain whose vessel is about to crash on the rocks empties its souls of doubt, so are the hesitant useful… — Bauvard Business Copy Share Image
“Performance enhancements are most impressive when used by that sedentary athlete, the videogamer. After he turns to hitchhiking in disgrace, his giant… — Bauvard Athlete Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the… — Bauvard Capital punishment Copy Share Image
“I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.” — Bauvard Writing Copy Share Image
“Treat each other like human beings? But the other great apes have no class hierarchy.” — Bauvard Apes Copy Share Image
“If you want more development in your relationship, move to an urban area.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Don't swallow: your bulging, blushing cheeks display the saliva you want to share.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Don't believe anything I say. My point of view is merely objective.” — Bauvard Faith Copy Share Image
“We need to save the forests. I have a big warehouse we can store them in.” — Bauvard Deforestation Copy Share Image
“Privatization will always be a timid ideology as long as architects are allowed to unveil their buildings.” — Bauvard Privatization Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view.… — Bauvard Dream Copy Share Image
“I don’t read biographies for moral instruction, or for a history lesson. I want to know what people are saying about me.” — Bauvard Character Copy Share Image
“Aping the lower class will only lead to fatherless children, unusable muscles, and the fear of tomorrow’s sobriety.” — Bauvard Children Copy Share Image
“Flatterers should be mistrusted, especially when they praise the dead. To seek a place in society is self-serving, but to seek one… — Bauvard Flattery Copy Share Image
“I shed a tear when I meet somebody who always quits. Reliable people are so rare in this world.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
