“It then occurs to me that I am mentally unstable. So I decided to close my office door and go online. Maybe… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You have an incredible body." He reaches out to touch my stomach. I feel no pleasure in his compliment or his touch,… — Augusten Burroughs Body Copy Share Image
“...I don't think it's any more deceptive than wearing four-inch come-fuck-me pumps when one has no intention of ever fucking anybody.” — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
What I think of blogs is just this: Some are beautifully written and many are not. But even blogs that aren't necessarily… — Augusten Burroughs Blog Copy Share Image
“Bookman isn't a stable man. He has a lot of problems that run very, very deep." But he was really good at… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
New York City is a place where you can lock yourself up in your little studio apartment, and not go outside at… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“The events of the past cannot be fully understood when you are the only element of the past actively engaged in reliving… — Augusten Burroughs Past Copy Share Image
“The more time I spent at the Finches', the more I realized what a waste of my life this school crap was.… — Augusten Burroughs Expression Copy Share Image
“Freedom was what we had. Nobody told us when to go to bed. Nobody told us to do our homework. Nobody told… — Augusten Burroughs Freedom Copy Share Image
There's a lot about being "A Writer" that has nothing to do with writing. That's one thing I've discovered. You've got to… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
(The new boyfriend) knows I write every day for hours but has no idea that all I’m writing about is me. It… — Augusten Burroughs Alcoholics Copy Share Image
“eath, when it finally arrives, does so in a surprising fashion: it adds nothing to the room, not a light or a… — Augusten Burroughs Death Copy Share Image
“Sober. So that’s what I’m here to become. And suddenly, this word fills me with a brand of sadness I haven’t felt… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
Most of us have love in our lives. Most of us love other people are are ourselves loved by others. But make… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Well, somehow I felt if I sent Sally a donation, she would open the envelope herself and squeeze the cash into the… — Augusten Burroughs Donation Copy Share Image
I just look at her and she creeps me out. She looks like she would eat a baby. Not that she's fat.… — Augusten Burroughs Baby Copy Share Image
“We had a wealth of something we didn't want, but the wealth itself was intoxicating and we invented games just so we… — Augusten Burroughs Wealth Copy Share Image
Saying just the right thing after a considerable, awkward pause is far less effective than saying the wrong thing with perfect timing.… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
The dark side of blogging is, of course, people can be (and are) just savage and uncivilized, deeply cruel and fully unaccountable. — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“Hope and God were buddies. Theirs was not a formal relationship steeped in ritual and tradition. It was more of a close… — Augusten Burroughs Friendship Copy Share Image
If you hate your life, you haven't' seen enough of it. If you hate your life, it's because your life is too… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“You know what we need? We need to get jobs, get the fuck out of that crazy house,' Natalie said, dipping a… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
Confidence is a reduction of your own interest in whether others are thinking about you and if so, what they're thinking. — Augusten Burroughs Confidence Copy Share Image
“Oh, I had a great time. My thirty-three-year-old boyfriend said he wished they could package my cum like ice cream so he… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody… — Augusten Burroughs Alive Copy Share Image
You can make almost anything a learning or positive experience. I think I offer a good example of how to make the… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
You need to grab your dream out of the sky like it's a kite and pinch the string through your fingers until… — Augusten Burroughs Dream Copy Share Image
“I didn't begin life hating my grandmother. Like every child, I adored her. Until I formed a brain and got to know… — Augusten Burroughs Children Copy Share Image
He continues to smile expectantly. I take a step back. I don't want to catch whatever he has. He is a disturbing… — Augusten Burroughs Christmas Copy Share Image
I love you," she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
What nobody understood then is this: The only way that you achieve what you want and fulfill your dreams and become great… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
“But feelings, no matter how strong or “ugly,” are not a part of who you are. They are the radio stations your… — Augusten Burroughs Feelings Copy Share Image
Smoking had become my favorite thing in the world to do. It was like having instant comfort, no matter where or when. — Augusten Burroughs Comfort Copy Share Image
“He sees the shit that happens around me - or because of me - so now he is only 99.99 percent certain… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
With my own memoirs, they are truthful, and I write everything fully expecting to some day end up televised on Court TV,… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how… — Augusten Burroughs Lonely Copy Share Image
Throwing things horrified me. I suffered extreme, paralyzing anxiety when it came to anything remotely athletic. I wouldn't even run to catch… — Augusten Burroughs Anxiety Copy Share Image
After I got my coffee, I leaned against a stop sign and sipped, pretending it was a normal day and I was… — Augusten Burroughs Coffee Copy Share Image
I was learning that if I lived slightly in the future-what will happen next-I didn't have to feel so much about what… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
I think people might think, oh, I don't want to approach the big famous author because it's embarrassing, but then they think… — Augusten Burroughs Approach Copy Share Image
