If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wasn't used to guys making me blush, and I wasn't sure why he even was making me blush. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Think of something clever, witty or profound, keep it short and people may quote you.” — Bobby Darnell Copy Share Image
He'll never be better than he is on the first date. Unless he's rich and hasn't told you yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No man should travel until he has learned the language of the country he visits. Otherwise he voluntarily makes himself a great… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should… — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't even know if it's possible, but if it were, I'd like to make those kinds of old movies where the… — Lisa Kudrow Copy Share Image
A team that is always fun with witty sense of humor. We help each other around a lot and help push each… — Min Copy Share Image
Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was watching Gene Simmons' TV show, Family Jewels. Or as it's known in the business, 'The Osbournes' Without the Talented Father. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Can you tell me the difference between a witch and a wizard?Sure, a wizard is what they call you when they want… — Barbara Hambly Copy Share Image
I'm well aware when i've to use suck me or fuck me. Yea I'm classy like that! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
ProTip: Tell a girl she has nice lips and shell suck your dick right then and there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I typed the word Google into Google. Guess what came up? Everything. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wit is the lightning of the mind, reason the sunshine, and reflection the moonlight. — Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington Copy Share Image
Sometimes a lady wants to be woken up with a face between her legs... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The next best thing to being witty is to quote another's wit. — Christian Nevell Bovee Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what's cuter than your baby? Sleeping in till 11am on weekends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Etc: The word that makes people think you are smarter than you really are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, The continuous process of getting used to things you never expected; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feelings one can go through in one day. — Anne Morrow Lindbergh Copy Share Image
Wit as an instrument of revenge is as infamous as art is as a means of sensual titillation. — Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel Copy Share Image
To be loved is to be fortunate, to be hated is to have acheived distinction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sometime bad self-esteem is just good common sense" Cloris Leachman, Spanglish” — Kristen Wasyliszyn Copy Share Image
Don't forget to tell everyone how you hate Mondays, because we were all wondering how you feel about them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
