What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I usually admit when someone complains but that's only coz denying them requires explaining. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“You could always tell how much trouble you were in by how much someone stretched your name when they said it.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Quoting E. B. White is the easiest way I know of to fool people into thinking that I am perceptive, witty, and… — Peter Behrens Copy Share Image
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good women are no fun... The only good woman I can recall in history was Betsy Ross. And all she ever made… — Mae West Copy Share Image
“Make sure it is God's trumpet you are blowing- if it is only yours it won't wake the dead, it will simply… — W. Ian Thomas Copy Share Image
Twitter has restored my faith in humanity. I thought I'd hate it, but while there are lots of knobheads, there are even… — John Simm Copy Share Image
My contributions were many: First clown director, with witty sayings and flashily dressed, now called master of ceremonies. — Jelly Roll Morton Copy Share Image
I've got respect with you guys.. But my respect have limitations. So if you hit that limit, expect me to hit your… — Rakii Retondo Copy Share Image
