If you wait for the waiter in the restaurant, Aren't you a waiter? — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
I've just got to remind myself that it's hard to express tone and sarcasm and stuff through text. — Kyle Larson Copy Share Image
If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies. — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
“So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.” — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
Person: YOU GET ON MY F*CKING NERVES! Me: So you're gonna caps-lock me to death? — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
“The Gay' is not infectious, the world is not coming to an end, and people are happy. Gosh, how about that.” — Kelley York Copy Share Image
“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?” — Carrie Harris Copy Share Image
What if the idea of everything being legal for a night was for real.. I would park in a no park zone… — SouL Copy Share Image
I'm not addicted to twitter. I only tweet when I have time: lunch time, break time, off time, this time, that time,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Get the point?" I asked, offering the boys a triumphant smile. Gabriel, Zeb, and Dick stared at me, aghast. "What? Sarcastic postkill… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Cam's wings were so bright they were almost blinding as they pulsed. "Holy Hell," Callie whispered, blinking. "More or less," Arriane said” — Lauren Kate Copy Share Image
“Fine, it’s decided.” Vain resumed his stride. “I’ll do all the killing, and you do all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does.… — Luke Romyn Copy Share Image
Shareholder meetings are not usually the occasion for utter candor - or for that matter, arch sarcasm - by chief executives. — Alex Berenson Copy Share Image
“You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?' 'Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was going to… — Jasper Fforde Copy Share Image
“Everyone has their coping mechanisms, Mom. Some hide behind silk scarves and boutique cafés. Others stick to sarcasm. Chapter 4” — Irina Semikop Copy Share Image
“Hey,” he said. “Hi.” Oh, damn. It was awkward. “What’re you doing?” “Shearing a sheep. It’s cold outside, and I need a… — Chanelle Gray Copy Share Image
I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine.… — Agatha Christie Copy Share Image
I was the sibling that kind of kept it all on a level when life at home got tough. I did it… — Johnny Galecki Copy Share Image
Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have… — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
About time," Christian said. "Lissa and Adrian get the market share on worrying about you, but they're not the only ones. And… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“I once visited a place where they killed people by putting them in a chair. Not torture — that was common enough;… — Iain M. Banks Copy Share Image
Yeah, my boyfriend does this REAAAALLYY cute thing..where he doesn't exist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. — Pierre-Auguste Renoir Copy Share Image
The atmosphere of Venus consists of ammonia, sulfur, and nitric oxide. Man must have lived there once. — Andre Brie Copy Share Image
Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Melissa,' Graham growled. 'Really? I've always thought it brings out my eyes. — Christine Warren Copy Share Image
“Such polite manners for an armed man who was kidnapping me. Danilo could take a few lessons from him.” — robin bridges Copy Share Image
If I can't kiss my own ass what makes you think I'm going to kiss yours? — Nicole Hill Copy Share Image
Cool Story Bro..Why Don't You Write A Book About iT Then Sell iT To Someone Who Actually Gives A Fuhk..! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes . — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's amazing how everyone becomes a political genius one month every 4 years. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have my own views about Nature's methods, though I feel that it is rather like a beetle giving his — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one. — Mae West Copy Share Image
Never vote for the best candidate, vote for the one who will do the least harm. — Frank Dane Copy Share Image
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. So said by the idiot who can't understand it. — Ramandeep Singh Copy Share Image
