Person: YOU GET ON MY F*CKING NERVES! Me: So you're gonna…

If she's still able to walk to the kitchen after sex, you don't deserve a sandwich.

— Psyche_Zeroh

Heroin - A drug that helps you to escape reality, while making it much harder to cope when you are recaptured.

— Psyche_Zeroh

The earth is full. Go home.

— Psyche_Zeroh

What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. That isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination.

— Psyche_Zeroh

You make me want to puke. (In a good way!)

— Psyche_Zeroh

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

— Psyche_Zeroh

Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems. I'm tired of solving them for you.

— Psyche_Zeroh

You know your childhood is pretty much over when you fall asleep on the couch, and wake up on the f*cking couch.

— Psyche_Zeroh

Can't believe Google is cocky enough to start guessing after one letter.

— Psyche_Zeroh

It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words.

— Psyche_Zeroh

Lady Astor: If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Winston Churchill: Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!

— Psyche_Zeroh

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

— Psyche_Zeroh

So, you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Well, some people don't have a Mother on Mother's Day. Or, a Father on Father's…

— Psyche_Zeroh

It's all fun and games until someone calls the cops. Then it's a new game; Hide and Seek.

— Psyche_Zeroh

Life doesn't give me lemons anymore. Not after what happened last time.

— Psyche_Zeroh