A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The people I see on bicycles look like organic-gardening zealots who advocate federal regulation of bedtime and want American foreign policy to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Everybody with a gun has a checkpoint in Lebanon. And in Lebanon, you'd be crazy not to have a gun. Though, I… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
When a government controls both the economic power of individuals and the coercive power of the state ... this violates a fundamental… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The French are sawed-off sissies who eat snails and slugs and cheese that smells like people's feet. Utter cowards who force their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People love to be told what they know already. It's not so much that what they say is wrong, though Ann Coulter… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Remember, FDA employees are serious about fear. We pay these people to panic about an iota of rodent hair in our chili,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You know, if government were a product, selling it would be illegal. Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to collectivists, to people who believe that wealth is best obtained by redistribution, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric:… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Conservatives really don't believe in politics as the primary instrument of getting along in life and therefore don't tend to put their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The subculture of felons is in great vogue among adolescents. Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, and so forth allow us Republicans to say to… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Most of the people who have grabbed hold of climate change and greenhouse gases, pollution, oil dependency - they have another motive,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I try to ONLY ridicule people who's efforts are sincere. Very little trouble has been caused in the world by insincere efforts.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I'm a registered Republican and consider socialism a violation of the American principle that you shouldn't stick your nose in other people's… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If ever there were a place where people not only tend not to face economic facts, but it's almost their purpose not… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I had always thought of Egypt as a rather secular country. And I think it is, but people are quite observant of… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
...let's talk about soccer scores. There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The U.S. Constitution is less than a quarter the length of the owner's manual for a 1998 Toyota Camry, and yet it… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
If you spend seventy-two hours in a place you've never been, talking to people whose language you don't speak about social, political,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
How did an allegedly free people spawn a vast, rampant cuttlefish of dominion with its tentacles in every orifice of the body… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People are always angry at America. They're absolutely certain that America either caused their problems or is deliberately not fixing their problems.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In Toledo, people grow out. Out to the suburbs. Out to the parts of America where the economy is more vigorous. And… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Politics doesn't work. Look at the parts of America where government has had the most power, where government has spent the most… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
The Democrats said, "We don't know what's wrong with America, but we can fix it." The Republicans said, "There's nothing wrong with America, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
So-called Western Civilization, as practised in half of Europe, some of Asia and a few parts of North America, is better than anything else… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
It was Ronald Reagan who used to say that the 10 most frightening words in the English language are, "I'm from the federal government,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Gun violence has cost us too many political leaders, and hardly ever the worst ones. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Something that comes to us, some gym shoe that comes to us as a result of child labor from a brutal dictatorship, where people… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share
![“[T]he Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? Peace Corps volunteers? Or maybe the people in Texas were…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/6d2/p-j-o-rourke-184_abuse_t-he-clinton-administration-launched-an_664366.png)
![“[Wave of bestselling conservative commentators] it's kind of like reading The Power Of Positive Thinking, or any other advice or how-to book. All they do is reassure people of their basic opinions, and then they can continue to act like they've always acted. I'd say it's time to move on to…” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/1c2/p-j-o-rourke-184_advice_wave-of-bestselling-conservative-comment_55176.jpg)
