Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There is a new bill in the Senate that is upsetting a lot of people. This bill would give the President the… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I used to believe, like many people who come from poor backgrounds, that it gave me an edge, but I think that's… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Scotland is a much lighter and more fun place than I thought it was. I was miserable when I was there. But… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I felt that, as time went on, an audience gets to know you and in a weird way, you kind of feel… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A lot of people in their 30's get nostalgic for their teen years. Then they get jobs in TV, become bitter and… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There is a new survey out about the happiest professions. I think the whole premise is flawed. You're supposed to find true… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Clay Aiken ran for Congress in North Carolina. But he didn't make it. Clay Aiken is famous for coming in second in… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Valentine's Day is celebrated a little differently here in L.A. Nobody eats chocolate because of the calories, so people give each other… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Dell Computers announced they're releasing a competitor for the iPad. Now it is, in fact, a great alternative for people who already… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I did have a love for literature that overpowered my hatred of the people who taught it, and I think because I… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
There are plans for a new high-speed train between Los Angeles and San Francisco. It will make the trip time 30 minutes.… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share
