Stand-up is the place where you can do things that you could never do in public. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If horses had controlled investment decisions, there would have been no auto industry. — Warren Buffett Copy Share Image
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. — Arthur Smith Copy Share Image
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight - and that was just their hair. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
The one-liner of this movie [ The Hollars], you've probably heard before: 'A guy goes home to his family and finds out… — John Krasinski Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is great at the one-liners, but he's a chaos candidate and he'd be a chaos president. He would not be… — Renee Montagne Copy Share Image
[Arnold Schwarzenegger] is funny. Some great one-liners, some great banter between him and the contestants [on "The Apprentice" ]. And he's good! — Boy George Copy Share Image
The most common one-liner in the Bible is, "Do not be afraid." Someone counted, and it occurs 365 times. — Richard Rohr Copy Share Image
“Bridget - I like my tea like I like my men. Strong, sweet and dark. Joan - I like my tea like… — Bridget Golightly Copy Share Image
If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
Evangelical agencies with ready funding may have too little depth and vision to cope with the current conflict. God's kingdom is built… — Carl F. H. Henry Copy Share Image
Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I think Twitter is kind of fun, it's not deep and it never will be, but it's a great way to communicate… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm in awe of comedians that do things that I can't do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
It occurs to me that John McCain is as intellectually shallow as our current President…Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic… — Jack Cafferty Copy Share Image
I have hundreds of Word documents filled with pages of one-liners. If I begin to write a story, or if one of… — Chelsea Martin Copy Share Image
I think you often say more by saying less. And interestingly enough, I mean, Jesus really set the standard. I mean, he… — Mark Batterson Copy Share Image
Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage. I've always written in the long format, five, eight, 10-minute pieces… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside. — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
If I had that kind of money, I wouldn't come to Vietnam, I'd send for it. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Endeavors that help me satisfy you, my goddess of desire, pleasure, and corny one-liners. — Sylvia Day Copy Share Image
Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
“Bridget was so excited to see the giant Colin Firth statue, she almost had a stroke. But she couldn't quite reach.” — Bridget Golightly Copy Share Image
![“The one-liner of this movie [ The Hollars], you've probably heard before: 'A guy goes home to his family and finds out about himself.” quote by John Krasinski](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/67b/john-krasinski-4756_family_the-one-liner-of-this-movie-the-hollars_2363185.jpg)
![“[Arnold Schwarzenegger] is funny. Some great one-liners, some great banter between him and the contestants [on "The Apprentice" ]. And he's good!” quote by Boy George](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/883/boy-george-1385_apprentice_arnold-schwarzenegger-is-funny-some-grea_2202131.png)
