Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.' — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In ancient times they sacrificed the virgins. Men were not about to sacrifice the sluts! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't want to be a pessimist. I'm a realist. One man's realist is another man's pessimist. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New rule: Stop calling it Obamacare. It's not like Obama will be the doctor for your next prostate exam. That's just a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Guys you have way too much invested in sport. Guys you are not the tenth man. You're a machine for turning beer… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I doubt anything will really come of this lawsuit. First of all, it's a lawsuit. It involves a subpoena. And try to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Is it like gay men go into the priesthood because they figure, Well, this'll solve my problem. I can't be a homosexual… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A new biography of Madonna came out last week, and apparently the biography lists all the men she's slept with. The book… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was just at the newly opened Creationist Museum in Kentucky… And they have this exhibit of a giant dinosaur...with a saddle… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we go back to the beginning, we shall find that ignorance and fear created the gods; that fancy, enthusiasm, or deceit… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people's taxes in half, had a incurable case… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
McCain was introduced at the convention last night by his wife -- I won't say 'trophy wife' -- but she did $300,000… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was brought up Catholic and we show my mom, my mother, my sister and then I take pains to explain on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Republicans are always saying we should privatize things like schools, prisons, social security - hey, how about we privatize privacy! Because if… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In no way was I intending to say, nor have I ever thought, that the men and women who defend our nation… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It's a furball with a broken spirit, that can only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I ... would guess maybe about one or two out of five men is suited for marriage and probably four out of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's America for you - a red herring culture, always scared of the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't say that I'm an atheist. I don't like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Do you think if it was the fairy tale about a man who lived inside of a whale and it was religion… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
![“When those myths were created, when the Bible was written, man didn't know what an atom or a germ was, or where the sun went at night, or why the women got pregnant. [Laughs.] They needed stories to answer the questions.” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/5cd/bill-maher-211_answers_when-those-myths-were-created-when-the-b_2477028.png)
![“Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people's taxes in half, had a incurable case of the military-industrial complex, and said Medicare was socialism that would destroy our freedom. [. . .] Both sides really…” quote by Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/0e7/bill-maher-211_abortion_ronald-reagan-was-an-anti-government-uni_1525625.jpg)
