Joke: why do people always go high to school? Answer: because its called — Vicvickyvic Copy Share Image
It was a joke, okay? If we thought it would actually be used, we wouldn't have written it! — Marc Andreessen Copy Share Image
We don't want to get married in haste and then later on our relationship becomes a joke for others. — Himanshi Khurana Copy Share Image
Angry people who can't take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Music is a fun hobby for me - not something I am trying to pursue as a career because that would literally… — Scheana Shay Copy Share Image
Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I'm able to tell a joke. I thank God I'm good… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Some guys joke, but when guys are hurt, I can diagnose their injuries because I've gone through almost everything. — Mike Fisher Copy Share Image
Homework's hard. Especially math. My kids joke with me. They tell me they have homework. I say, 'Okay.' And then I sit… — Angelina Jolie Copy Share Image
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
“What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you.… — Ana Claudia Antunes Copy Share Image
When someone pitches a joke for a character that is just perfect, and you can imagine that actor reading that line at… — Michael Schur Copy Share Image
There's no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
There has been nothing more impactful on my life and meaningful to me than the introduction of Christ. That, hands down, blows… — Steve Harvey Copy Share Image
I think those that are holier-than-thou don't make jokes. They take themselves too seriously and Peeta doesn't take himself too seriously. This… — Josh Hutcherson Copy Share Image
I'm hugely negative, so if a joke doesn't land it takes me a long time to get over it. If something doesn't… — Romesh Ranganathan Copy Share Image
I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it's hard for me… — Chris D'Elia Copy Share Image
I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it.… — Tatiana Maslany Copy Share Image
Trawl through the world of blogs and tweets, and you will find readers complaining when they stumble upon a word they don't… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
All fraudulent elections should be condemned, including those in Turkey and Russia. And we need to be doubly mindful not to indulge… — Lisa Kennedy Montgomery Copy Share Image
What are you grinning at?" Katsa demanded for the third or fourth time. "Is the ceiling about to cave in on my… — Kristin Cashore Copy Share Image
Never joke around when texting. People can take you seriously. I've heard this so many times and just oh that'll never happen… — Melchor Lim Copy Share Image
We used to joke that we were more scared of the police than we were of the devil. You had to have… — Max Cavalera Copy Share Image
“Life may be a grand folly, as you say, but it is harder to appriciate the joke when you're always the butt… — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
That's the Irish all over -- they treat a joke as a serious thing and a serious thing as a joke. — Sean O'Casey Copy Share Image
Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to. — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
What are your troubles are, the whether you love me. They have good humor. But I am not a joke — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
Wana hear a joke about my penis? oh wait, its to long. wana hear a joke about my vagina? oh wait, you'll… — Abbey Copy Share Image
If somebody can make a joke about you on TV, that's so beautiful. You've affected pop culture to that degree. — Thundercat Copy Share Image
When u can't laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everything serious that he says is a joke and everything humorous that he says is dead serious. — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
Well, I like to have fun and be silly, and a lot of people who know me know I joke a lot… — Marvin Bagley III Copy Share Image
“The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.” — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
I can't get through a joke without making a mistake, or giving away the punchline. — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
Dad liked to self-deprecatingly joke about his career, but Ernie Johnson was a pretty darn good relief pitcher. — Ernie Johnson Jr Copy Share Image
Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through… — Henry Ward Beecher Copy Share Image
