“My future, it almost looks like Christmas—red and green—stop and go.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I made friends with the future. But I’m still friends with the past.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My ballsack contains Future People. I’m holding a Meet ‘N’ Greet this Saturday in Branson.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to foretell the future. And from all indicators, 2013’s going to be a blanket of a year. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow! So this is what the future's like,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The future seems so crowded to me. All I see is me, me, me, me, me and a million other clones of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The past screams louder than the future. The future is mute, but it’s not deaf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The future is right around the corner from a bar called, “Yesterdays.” I know, I work there every tomorrow.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We should kill the future, so the present has no choice but to retreat into the past.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In the future, it’ll be my child, but it will be my child’s life, so I must name it not for me,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to foretell the future. Here’s my prediction: Tomorrow will happen. If I’m right, the brick was correct,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wrote my name on the list 10 years ago, and under the date I wrote “In the future.” But how’d I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Water doesn’t shape like clay when you move it with your hands. I've spent a lot of time swimming, and none of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to foretell the future. But I’m the only one alive who knows how to make it work,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I fear one day I’ll get a knock at my front door, and I’ll answer it to find myself standing there. Then… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to build a future with me. Come, let’s start a life together. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m thinking ahead to how I’ll be thinking back to me thinking ahead in this moment.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
