Funny golf Quotes

The woods are full of long drivers.

— Harvey Penick

May thy ball lie in green pastures, and not in still waters.

— Ben Hogan

My father's saying, The harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Fiona Wood

Luck is predictable; the harder you work, the luckier you get.

— Brian Tracy

Half of golf is fun; the other half is putting.

— Peter Dobereiner

Sex is the most fun you can have without smiling.

— Madonna Ciccone

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do

— Joan Rivers

The more you play it the less you know about it.

— Patty Berg

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a…

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.

— P. J. O'Rourke

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.

— Sam Snead

You know what they say about big hitters...the woods are full of them.

— Jimmy Demaret

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole.…

— Chuck Hogan

One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad and why you play good.

— George Archer

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

— Pete Dye

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all…

— Bob Hope

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of…

— Bob Hope

It's so ridiculous to see a golfer with a one foot putt and everybody is saying "Shhh" and not moving a muscle.…

— Al McGuire

The trouble that most of us find with the modern matched sets of clubs is that they don't really seem to know…

— Robert Browning

Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. You get bad breaks from good shots; you get good breaks…

— Bobby Jones

And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh,…

— Bill Murray

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where…

— Bob Hope

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.

— Keith Michael

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.

— Ernie Banks

The harder you work, the luckier you become.

— Carl Karcher

That putt had more breaks than a government job.

— Brian Weiss

Nobody ever remembers who finished second at anything.

— Jack Nicklaus

Golf tip: Lay off for three weeks and then quit for good.

— Sam Snead

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

— Lee Trevino

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

— Ben Hogan

Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them.

— Anonymous

Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot.

— Dave Marr

You swing your best when you have the fewest things to think about.

— Bobby Jones

Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

— Winston Churchill

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

I'm the best. I just haven't played yet.

— Muhammad Ali

I never learned anything from a match that I won.

— Bobby Jones

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

— George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen