One thing about golf is you don't know why you play bad…

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

— Bruce Lansky

Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.

— Winston Churchill

They throw their clubs backwards, and that's wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk…

— Tommy Bolt

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at it.

— Jimmy Demaret

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an…

— Gerald R. Ford

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players…

— Bob Hope

Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

— Bob Hope

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.

— Pete Dye

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.

— George Robertson, Baron Robertson of Port Ellen

They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. It's more complicated than that.

— Gardner Dickinson

The most important shot in golf is the next one.

— Ben Hogan

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.

— John Updike

Golf is a game in which you yell "for," shoot six, and write down five.

— Paul Harvey

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

— Chi Chi Rodriguez

I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.

— Ben Crenshaw