I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you have to give me CPR and your breath stinks, just let me die please.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of romance and marriage; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl prepares your fridge football season. The woman just wants you on her tight end. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are more likely to be struck by lightening than women. That means no storms occur in a kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Facebook is that insecure chick that keeps changing her hairstyle &/or color until she finally loses her mind and shaves it &… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Give a compliment to a fat chick today, she'll literally remember you until the day she dies... Because elephants never forget. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Today I sent out a text saying, Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it? 12 people called me...I need smarter… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm trying to fix your mother's camera. Easy, easy - Hmmm. I think I need a bigger drill. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Girl died n went to heaven. . God was surprised to see her heart was still beating. . God asked her,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Illiterate People, If you read something...(probably just on Facebook) the correct past tense spelling is NOT RED The most you may… — LA Watts Copy Share Image
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People who use chew instead of you, or misspell words on purpose because they think it sounds better, thanks for disrespecting the… — Nathan Schwake Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me? Behave? Seriously!! As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
