Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 44

I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.Somebody is going to be wrong.

— Hussein Nishah

If there was a black character in Clue, the game would be called Solved.

— Anonymous

We used to live our life with Internet and now we live in Internet with our life

— Ritu Ghatourey

When I read a fashion magazine, I don't actually read it. I just scan..

— Anonymous

I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.

— Anonymous

Window: What I hope to do when I go to Las Vegas

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies

— Hussein Nishah

One of the scariest things ever is flushing a toilet & seeing the water coming up instead of going down.

— Anonymous

Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports & wear jordan's. Sounds like you want a boyfriend bro ahah...;)

— Anonymous

Bitches b like long hair dont care known damn well they shit shorter than a Instagram video

— IG:Catone_2funny

Delete me... Like most of y'all who can't handle what I have to say :') Dont got time for any of y'all.

— Anonymous

All of a sudden she starts boasting about how high and big her boobs are, what she dosent know is that I…

— Full Time Gangster

That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like 'I got nothing, man.'

— Hussein Nishah

For All Girls That Say All Guys Are The Same , Who Told Yhuueww To Try Them All . ? S T…

— Anonymous

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives

— Nikhil Saluja

I am done with this relationship, I declare u 'single n searching'.

— Unkown

Once upon a time there was a girl who no longer gave a f*ck.. The End

— Anonymous

Relationships can end, if you stop doing what you did at the beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dealing with assholes is a perfect timepass.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm organizing a baby shower for my girlfriend. She's a midget.

— Nikhil Saluja

If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...

— Anonymous

Im not getting older, Im just becoming a classic

— Hussein Nishah

I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to "it's complicated".

— Anonymous

LOVE, TRUE, marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

— Nikhil Saluja

I used to sleep at night, but then I found facebook

— Ritu Ghatourey

If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :) :o

— Mac

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide. lol.

— MoCHY

Why Tweet on Twitter when you can Fook on Facebook!

— Desmond Fouche

Music, Sleep, Sex, and video games are the most effective stress relievers.

— Anonymous

A truck full of dildos is just Toys for Twats.

— Nikhil Saluja

HUSBAND, PERFECT, is, in a man's second marriage, her first mate

— Nikhil Saluja

You can Take the Country of Of The Word but You cant take Country out Of the Girl

— Victoria Jones

I want to throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.

— Anonymous

Hey I just f%cked you, and this is crazy. The condom broke, so here's your baby.

— Anonymous

When it comes to sex, most women are like the government. All talk, no action.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!

— Nikhil Saluja

Of course my clothes are on the floor. I'm a guy, that is where I hang them.

— Nikhil Saluja

Even if women came with Terms & Conditions, you still wouldnt read them.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you wanna know something, ask me. Don't assume. That's how drama starts.

— Tanya Bianco