Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 43

I'm from the city were ya hustle determines ya salary...

— Bee Sniper

Three Things to Coltivate... Courage, Cheerfulness and Contentment.

— Nikhil Saluja

Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

— Ritu Ghatourey

HUSBAND, A person who never really becomes good, he is merely more proficient.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh.. so your dating my ex? i ate a sandwhich earlier. do you want those leftovers too?

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when u run into a spider web and suddenly know kung fu

— Anonymous

I don't hate you, I just...never mind I hate you.

— Carlos Banks

Everybody out here getting pregnant and having babies that shit must be contagious

— Bigboyalweezy

Stupid me! So that's why I work so many hours, so you can collect welfare,wear pajamas in public and have an iPhone.

— Anonymous

My Girlfriend just said that I should stop acting like an year old. I almost choked on her boobs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds!

— Anonymous

Apparently, the answer 'I know.' is not a good answer when your friend tells you how awesome his girlfriend is in bed.

— Ashley

Teens in horror movies are so stupid you could strangle them dumbasses with a cordless phone

— Anonymous

If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you

— Nikhil Saluja

You can always win an argument with a lady during your last few minutes of your life by telling her that she's…

— Nikhil Saluja

Most kids: I like to drink and smoke weed. Me: When it's cold out I like to breathe heavily and pretend I…

— Anonymous

Twinkle, twinkle little star, who the fuck you think you are?!

— EwshyCrazyness

Sorry facebook, twitter and I have a better relationship

— Mee

I just met a girl named Karma. She was actually really sweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The only game that is never called on account of darkness;

— Nikhil Saluja

Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

— Nikhil Saluja

People who say cray instead of crazy, are just plain lay.

— Anonymous

Oh, you're a model? What's your agency? Instagram...

— Anonymous

Studying fungus is a way to mold young minds

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes I wonder how many miles I've scrolled my mouse wheel.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

I had a dream about you. Awwwwww. Yeah, you died.

— Francis

Men to the left because women are always right.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, then we can be good friends.

— Nikhil Saluja

You're so full of shit! If you're really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing.

— Anonymous

My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

— Nikhil Saluja

Your manhood is not a license. Her curves are not an excuse. Challenge the stereotype.

— Nikhil Saluja

I dont have commitment issues, I been buying the same brand of whiskey for 8 years

— Nikhil Saluja

Two things a girl wants... To lose weight and eat...

— Kevin McCarty

What's the WiFi password here? is the new Finally I decided to visit you

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.

— Anonymous

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

— Nikhil Saluja

If beer pong was one of the event in the Olympics, I would get gold for sure.

— Nikhil Saluja

Just converted to a new religion. It's called idontgiveafuckism.

— Nikhil Saluja

I can't take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room.

— Itsme867

He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.

— Anonymous