Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't be a little bit unfaithful any more than you can be a little bit pregnant. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Teacher. Please stop make us sleepy, we have no bed in class. Sincerely, students. — OhItsVynn Copy Share Image
Who needs the young and the restless, when we can watch drama on Facebook anytime? — Arjun Loveable Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Twitter is blue...you look bangable, so I'll follow you. — Seth Rogan Copy Share Image
For the 5th time: I don't wanna come to your cat's birthday party Freak! My dog is getting married that day! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment someone has a bugger in their nose or something in their teeth & you don't know how to tell them… — Selena Moreno Copy Share Image
I don't understand how some brides have 20+ bridesmaids, I mean I don't even like so many people — Avalon Copy Share Image
That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so you just start laughing because you know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is like a facebook status message.. You can create or change a status that you post, but you can't change the… — Aldyna Threesya Copy Share Image
I thought of killing the smartest person in the world... But then I remembered. Suicide is a crime. ;) — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
Where can I get one of those Kim Kardashian or Paris Hilton jobs where they just kind of pay you to exist? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's messed up to find comfort and relatability in a site, that can careless about you, with people that only pay attention… — Adar Burks Copy Share Image
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish we had a relationship Starbucks cuz that's where you make it perfect. You can get everything perfect at Starbucks. If… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Girls make there Facebook status Single and talking to noone. like thats something to be proud of, like no being in a… — Amanda Copy Share Image
I think the best way I could ever have had it put... is if somebody breaks your heart.. punch them in the… — Carlin Whisler Copy Share Image
A couple is married for 47 years and the woman dies. At the funeral, the pallbearers swing the coffin, which hits a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Its mess up when u never pay attention to somebody til u heard some freaky stuff about them...I havent pay any attention… — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
I looked out the window & watched a dog chase his tail for 10 minutes & thought WOW dogs are so easily… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
My mom says to me, Honey, I don't want you to think I have diabetes because I'm fat. I have diabetes because… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
