Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's a nice quote you put as your status... what website you got that one from? — Keano Brin Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We can freak someone out if we want to: 1. Find someone on Facebook with the same name as you. 2. Steal… — Kand3n Copy Share Image
Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Women and Washing Machines are similar in a way, you have to use your hands in their absence. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If mom was here she would be subtweeting all over the place stuff like : who's gonna buy groceries : who's gonna… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
*Buying condoms* Cashier: Would you like a bag with that? Me: No thanks... She's not that ugly. — Francis Copy Share Image
When going to work has become a nice break from Facebook, it's safe to say you're a Facebook junkie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men...we spend nine months trying to get out of a vagina, and the rest of our lives trying to get back in. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
POKE: If you ever had a crush on me, or still do. LIKE: This status if you think I'm a good friend.… — Eric Shakya Copy Share Image
Facebook is such a stupid thing, which is not gonna let you do anything, It works by holding you back and tied… — Hasan Abid Copy Share Image
A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. She got out of bed… — Harriet Morgan Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Facebook, Facebook gave to me, 12 pouters pouting, 11 pokers poking, 10 haters hating, 9 dudes I'm… — Bwc Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In America, Gay marriage is legal in 6 states. *Okay.. This is fine, a bit amusing though* Having sex with a horse… — Shushi Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
