Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Your Starbucks order is directly proportional to how complicated your personality is. — Kevin Copy Share Image
Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: 'What do you do at a red light?' Me: 'I usually respond to texts and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How does a doctor feel when he loses a patient in the emergency room? The same way a child feels when he… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.!!! — Tufail Mehraj Copy Share Image
Makes me laugh how every rapper goes around sayin things like, I fucked yo bitch…umm since when was getting sloppy seconds a… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
People staying in line for $300 sneakers...People standing in line for the club..but will those same people stay in line to vote? — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
This is not Facebook, what book? Slutbook? They need to call this Fuckbook. Picture looking good, but in person... Yuckbook. Hellbook, Tellbook,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How to be a rapper in 2012: Wear skinny jeans, rap about how high drunk you get, pretend you can afford designer… — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
The past can haunt you, but so can ghosts. The future can be unpredictable, but so can the stock market. So the… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear xams.. sorry to say this but we dont get along qte well..! the more closer u cum the more am pissed… — Allarefake Copy Share Image
There comes a point in everyone's life that they need to make changes. Today I am going to change my socks and… — Tammi Post Copy Share Image
The gossip mags are reporting Rihanna has broken up with Chris Brown after she caught him cheating with a waitress. A source… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One day I want to be walking home in a thunderstorm after a one night stand it's pouring rain, thundering and lightning,… — Mitchell Sakundiak Copy Share Image
