Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30. — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes. — Euripides Copy Share Image
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. — Eva Gabor Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look. — Varsha Sharma Copy Share Image
It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me. — Ellen Glasgow Copy Share Image
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. — George Burns Copy Share Image
I think this year I am going to ask for a bouncy house on the dance floor. At my age, the bouncy… — Tammi Post Copy Share Image
Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, someone's drunk in… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
