ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The circus a place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“To expect that men who do not honorably and intelligently conduct their private affairs will honorably and intelligently conduct the affairs of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The place whereon the priest formerly raveled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FOOL, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
