It seems like only people doing REALLY well in life post those Facebook status updates where every third letter is randomly capitalized. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Experts say caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad you, sugar is bad for you...But dont worry, worrying is also bad… — Kand3n Copy Share Image
LIKE if the last thing you do every night and the first thing you do every morning is check your phone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People keep telling me the right person will come along. I think mine got hit by a bus or something. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Post...What is in your Heart..! Like...What Impressed your heart..! Command...with the touch of your heart..! Share...Attract yours friend's Heart..! your friends moreeee… — ArunVino Copy Share Image
When I'm reading a book and someone asks me what I'm reading, I don't answer. I just raise book up, so they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Making Sense Is Not All About Posting A Long Status, But Is All About Getting Straight To The Point. We Don't Have… — Sabelo Lan Mashabela Copy Share Image
1.Morning Routine: 1. Wake Up 2. Check phone for messages 3. Check Facebook for any notifications. — Becca Copy Share Image
No relationship is a waste of time. The wrong ones are there to teach you the lessons that prepare you for the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hate it when I'm trying to kill a spider but then I lose track of it and I become a victim in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If all woman in the world died today, human race would no longer possess the secret of how to properly wrap a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Standing there in front of a closet full of clothes and thinking to yourself, 'I have nothing to wear!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish people were like money, so you could hold them up to the light to see who's real and who's fake... — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
That terrible moment when you are halfway across the room with the food you just microwaved and your hands decide it's too… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ladies, Don't worry - if you haven't found the man of your dreams yet, there's always a vibrator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sunglasses allow an individual to stare at people without them knowing. It is Facebook in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you have nothing to do when you check Facebook every five minutes to see whats going on in someone elses… — Ritu Copy Share Image
I don't care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles...… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The house is clean, the kids are fed, I've scrubbed my butt now I'm off to bed. Goodnight friends, sleep with the… — Julie Hernandez Copy Share Image
Bitches be twerking for NO REASON, *microwave goes off* oh shit , my food done. *starts twerking* HOE SIT YO ASS DOWN & EAT ! — Armin Ferizovic Copy Share Image
Dear Mom and Dad, Just because I listen to music that say bad words, talk about sex, drugs and alcohol DOESN'T mean… — Martha Edith Copy Share Image
I never use the little twist ties to close a bag of bread...I just spin the bag and tuck it under the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've never seen a McDonalds or a Burger King under construction. They just show up out of nowhere. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A silence way it is not the end of the love.You are still the one that I always worry about just I… — Phara168 Copy Share Image
When people sign up for love, they forget to read the fine print...which says, not guaranteed to last forever. Pain and tears… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm ready to take our relationship to the level of appearing together in a Facebook profile picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If her facebook status says in a relationship & it's complicated is it safe to say she fucks other guys? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awesome moment when the whole class laughed at what you said, so you just sit there like a boss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never wait for someone to be online..never wait for someone's msg like u won't survive if u won't get it..and when one… — Raveen Copy Share Image
The secret of being happy is accepting who and where you are in life and making the most out of everyday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No matter how many cute faces you set your EYES upon, if you already have set your HEART for someone, you will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I ask my mom how to spell something and she sais look it up in the dictionary. I would… — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
I'm not religious, but the first thing I do in the Morning is look at the clock and pray I have more… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you post a funny status on Facebook and someone has to ruin it by commenting being all serious. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
