IPhone covers are like condoms; you don't want to, but you kind of have to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*Buying condoms* Cashier: Would you like a bag with that? Me: No thanks... She's not that ugly. — Francis Copy Share Image
Sex without condoms is magical… A baby appears & the father disappears. — Omar Valenzuela Copy Share Image
“Nowadays, you can do anything that you want—anal, oral, fisting—but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.” — Slavoj Žižek Copy Share Image
I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want. — Martine McCutcheon Copy Share Image
“Here are condoms lined with a topical anesthetic for prolonged action. What a paradox. You don't feel a thing, but you can… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“Carter?” Gordo asked. “Who is he? I want to meet him. In my office so I can scare the shit out of… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
At the store buying 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around and looked them in the eyes and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We are still not in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame but there are 3,000 Kiss products, a Kiss musical toothbrush,… — Paul Stanley Copy Share Image
“Just do me a solid and keep condoms in your purse. Just in case.” “That doesn’t help me keep my legs closed… — Kristen Proby Copy Share Image
“Foster Mom: “Hm, hm, you’d be surprised, these little kids be out here fucking. ’Cause you know the last one you had… — Tiffany Haddish Copy Share Image
“Trojan is giving away Magnum large condoms (do you think they were named after a large wooden animal inside which thousands of… — A.A. Gill Copy Share Image
Dont always buy a box of condoms whenever you with her, buy her teddy bear, chocolate or actual gift. Matured ladies appretiates… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I’m gonna put a handful of condoms in the glove compartment of the car…. I don’t give a shit if you don’t… — Justin Halpern Copy Share Image
you gotta think it’s a waste of—” “Ray!” I glanced around, but there was nobody within earshot. “Well, excuse me if I’m… — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
“Condoms seemed to her inherently wicked. But they were also inherently funny. They were like rubber gloves with only one finger, and… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
“Yeah,” he muttered, bent and kissed her jaw then moved from the bed thinking that if she wasn’t cool with taking him… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
They’ll have to eat first. And by the time they’re finished, you’ll be back.” “With the condoms.” “Right.” “For the giant orgy… — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
“And there was no way I could talk about it with Dad. Our version of "the talk" had been him clearing his… — Kody Keplinger Copy Share Image
“it required a crazy Ukrainian guy. ... “Svoboda” I said. “Condoms only cost fifty slugs. Why would anyone buy this?” He grinned.… — Andy Weir Copy Share Image
“The worst of all of this is the lie that condoms really protect against AIDS. The condom failure rate can be as… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
“So he heads straight for the condoms an grabs a box a 24 Durex Avanti. He says they’ve got a 64mm width… — Londonstani Copy Share Image
“So here we are, in the family planning aisle with a cart full of sports drinks and our hands full of .… — Huntley Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
“I remembered during puberty, through the anorexic mists of intermittent menstrual cycles, that man, my father, lifting Shirley's nightdress over her head… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“For if in careless summer days In groves of Ashtaroth we whored, Repentant now, when winds blow cold, We kneel before our… — George Orwell Copy Share Image
“Just FYI," Lenny says, his face still red from the nasty sunburn. "I've got a shitload of condoms in my duffle. Front… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“Start ringing things up then. This won't take long." "Which ones?" "I don't care." I push some at her. "These." "These?" She… — Karen Chance Copy Share Image
“... I believe strongly in condoms. They avert babies and disease. They make you seem responsible, not slutty. They make the girl… — Carrie Mesrobian Copy Share Image
“Do you want to marry me?' "Yes." "Do you want to have kids with me?" "Someday." "Do you ever miss taking your… — Molly McAdams Copy Share Image
