“Q: Why does Santa like to work in the garden? A: Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!” — Uncle Amon Copy Share Image
“The true beauty of Christmas is revealed when we adore the season, not like some weary adult, but like a bubbly little… — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Unwisely, Santa offered a teddy bear to James, unaware he had been mauled by a grizzly earlier this year. — Tim Burton Copy Share Image
What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it. — Bart Simpson Copy Share Image
Anyone out there considering doing a Christmas wedding, definitely do it! — Chloe Madeley Copy Share Image
“Actually Grandad Christmas is a pagan holiday and Jesus probably hates you for celebrating it.” — Huey Freeman The Boondocks Copy Share Image
I actually share her view and understand her frustration when any government attempts to ban secular symbols like Santa Claus or Rudolph… — Steve Israel Copy Share Image
It kills me when people talk about California hedonism. Anybody who talks about California hedonism has never spent a Christmas in Sacramento. — Joan Didion Copy Share Image
Simply having you here is the best Christmas present I could ever have. Thank you for making this year so wonderful and… — Axiz Copy Share Image
The South has a way of worshipping appearances - the suburbs are all about presentation and amazing flowers and a beautiful yard… — Paul Downs Colaizzo Copy Share Image
It's very difficult in England because the season is very long and hard compared to other places. There's not a lot of… — David Silva Copy Share Image
We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but… — Harold S. Kushner Copy Share Image
Christmas quotes It comes every year and will go on forever. And along with Christmas belong the keepsakes and the customs. Those… — Marjorie Holmes Copy Share Image
I love the atmosphere at the mall - everything about Christmas. I don't think anything specific gets me in the holiday spirit… — Drake Bell Copy Share Image
Where refugees seek deliverance that never comesAnd the heart consumes itself as if it would live,Where children age before their timeAnd life… — Howard Thurman Copy Share Image
“I've never had much luck with New Year's resolutions. Last year I only lasted three days before realizing I couldn't survive without… — James Ponti Copy Share Image
My prayer for the new year is that I may have the courage and the stamina to let Life happen to me,… — Jean Hersey Copy Share Image
Well, Thanksgiving we'll all gather at my house for dinner and we usually do Christmas at Beau's house. My mom is still… — Jeff Bridges Copy Share Image
In London the day after Christmas (Boxing Day), it began to snow: my first snow in England. For five years, I had… — Sylvia Plath Copy Share Image
It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases… — Caroline Kennedy Copy Share Image
My daughter is 15. None of her friends know who the hell Chris Rea is, but they know that song - as… — Chris Rea Copy Share Image
“Goodwill to all.' I know it's techinically 'goodwill to all men,' but in my mind, I drop the 'men' because that feels… — Rachel Cohn Copy Share Image
I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah. — William Tecumseh Sherman Copy Share Image
