Misc SMS Jokes / Text Messages

A Serious Statement
written outside a Women shoe shop
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70% Discount
if you select in 5min :P

A young woman who was worried about
her habit of biting her fingernails
was advised by a friend to take up yoga.
She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga
had totally cured her nervousness.
"No," she replied, "
but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside.
He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared.

"i'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said,
"I want a spectacular job - a job that no one has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."

"poof!" said the genie. "you are a housewife." :p

Gf : Am I Pretty Or Ugly?
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Bf : You Are Both
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Gf : What Do Yu Mean Both ?
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Bf : You Are Pretty Ugly

Yoga teacher to a woman:
Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !!
Now he drinks the whole bottle
standing upside down over his head.

Dedicated To All Girls With High Attitude

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Sweety ! Don't Be Proud
If Every Boy Wants You..!

Always Remember,
Cheap Items Have Too Many Buyers

Boy: your teeth are like the stars

Girl: awww ... Thanks
Are they that much pretty ?

Boy: no, far away from each other.

My mom said: "Honey, please go the market and buy 1 bottle of milk.
If they have eggs, bring 6"

I came back with 6 bottles of milk.

She said:"Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?"

I said: "Because they had eggs!!!"