Quote by William Brann

“The only thing wrong with Southern Baptists was they didn't hold them underwater long enough.”

— Kinky Friedman

Baptists are only funny underwater.

— Neil Simon

There are more Baptist preachers in Texas than Baptist missionaries in all the world.

— Ray Thompson

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a…

— A. Whitney Brown

“I don't know any Baptists who don't want to see folks get saved… you start winning folks to the Lord and baptizing them… They'll…

— Richard Hogue

“Link ran his hands over his hair nervously. “Dude, my mom’s a Baptist. You think she’s gonna let me stay in the house when…

— Kami Garcia

I’d heard about the Baptists from Jacob Henry’s mother. According to her, Baptists were a strange lot. They put you in water to see…

— Robert Newton Peck

“What we are about to have here is a holy water smack down!”

— David Donaghe

“Texas is undeniable...We were already almost out of America and yet definitely in it and in the middle of where it's maddest.”

— Jack Kerouac

“Too many Christians are no longer fishers of men, but the keepers of the aquarium.”

— Paul Harvey

“Who all is in there? Speak up and be quick about it!' 'A Methodist and a son a bitch!”

— Charles Portis

“Christians, be steadier in what you do, not blown like feathers at the wind's discretion, nor think that every water cleanses you...”

— Dante Alighieri