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Auditions Quote by Tim Vine

“So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."” quote by Tim Vine — Download Open image

“So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."”

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Auditions Funny Giving Humor Mum Said Theatre Wells

More by Tim Vine

If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

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Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

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I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

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My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, ‘Don’t be Sicily’.

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I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

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So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'

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My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

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You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

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Velcro: what a rip-off.

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I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity…

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So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I…

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Explore all 69 Tim Vine quotes

More Auditions quotes

My favorite performance would definitely be "Toxic," which was my blind audition song. It was the start of it all and it was a…

Melanie Martinez

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Ed Koch once said that New York City is where immigrants come to audition for America. That's what happened to my parents; that's what…

Lin-Manuel Miranda

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I have had to give auditions for every film I had done until 'Dedh Ishqiya.'

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When preparing for auditions, I have no rituals. I just try to be as prepared as possible.

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I have a large watch collection, and classic watches are especially important to me. I had a silver Rolex, and I actually gave it…

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I got into acting in high school mainly because I wasn't doing anything else and started to hit a few bumps in the road.…

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Always my fallback is - I'm gonna move to a poor town and open a scone shop... Sometimes after some bad auditions I think,…

Andrew Rannells

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I would go to different production houses everyday for auditions and they would reject me saying you cant talk, smile, dance, or act.

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Like every audition I go on, I do my best, but after that, I let it go because, you know, the rejection rate is…

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“Some people look like they sound better than they actually sound, because they look confident and have good posture," once musician, a veteran of…

Malcolm Gladwell

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Life beats down and crushes our souls and theatre reminds us that we have one. At least the type of theatre that I'm interested…

Sanford Meisner

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It's funny, I get really nervous when I audition for voiceovers.

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