Quote by Tad Williams

“Well, he doesn't fall out of bed and wrap his lips around a bottle of vodka, does he?”

— Jodi Ellen Malpas

“There is only good vodka and very good vodka—there is no such thing as bad vodka.”

— Julian Barnes

“Once the orange juice wears off, I might be drunk. I love vodka.”

— Jarod Kintz

“To me, beer tastes like piss. Maybe that's why I only enjoy it in the shower with my uncle.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If this is the start of a better day, I haven't bought nearly enough vodka.”

— Dana Bate

“Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human?”

— Heidi McLaughlin

“He gagged and spat the mouthful out on the carpet. He glared at the bottle. “Bubble gum–flavored vodka? Bubble gum?”

— Thea Harrison

“I think I need a bigger mouth. More alcohol would fit in it.”

— Penelope Douglas

“What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?” “You ask a glass of water.”

— Douglas Adams

“Your presence resembles a dirty martini, she only drinks it when she’s thirsty.”

— Shannon Lynette

“Who keeps putting alcohol in my alcohol?”

— Tara Sivec

“I hope this isn't a real emergency, I only brought one bottle of vodka.”

— Tinsey-Ya Ya's