"President Bush has embarked on an eight-day tour……" — Stephen Colbert
"President Bush has embarked on an eight-day tour of the continent. He hopes this one goes better than the other ones he's made recently. Obviously he's not doing that well in North America [on screen: '36% Approval'], his South American trip had a few bumps [on screen: 'Angry mobs of torch-carrying bumps'], Europe seems to think the president doesn't care what they think, but hey, who cares what they think? They could at least thank him for what he's done for their burning effigy industry."
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Stephen Colbert
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321 Quotes by Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert has 321 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
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Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today?…
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Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you…
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Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and…
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Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
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If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
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I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the…
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Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not…
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First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in'…
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If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
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I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it…
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Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.
See all 321 quotes by Stephen Colbert »
More America Quotes
This quote is filed under America Quotes,
one of 7,914 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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I guess I wanted to leave America for awhile. It wasn't that I wanted to become an expatriate, or just…
— Paul Auster
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What is going on in America is extreme. The youth cult, they worship youth so much it's almost paranoid. And…
— Billie Joe Armstrong
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My Latin temper blows up pretty fast, but it goes down just as fast. Maybe that's why you seldom hear…
— Desi Arnaz
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When bright young minds can't afford college, America pays the price.
— Arthur Ashe
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Today, the Iraqi citizen sees that America is coming and wants to occupy his country and kill him, and he…
— Bashar al-Assad
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Is there an equality of power between America and Iraq? Definitely not; however, the Iraqi people are standing fast and…
— Bashar al-Assad
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There's no lack of writers writing novels in America, about America. Therefore, it seems to me it would be wasteful…
— Chinua Achebe
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God bless the USA, so large, so friendly, and so rich.
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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You know there are no secrets in America. It's quite different in England, where people think of a secret as…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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A tremendous number of people in America work very hard at something that bores them. Even a rich man thinks…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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It's frightening how easy it is to commit murder in America. Just a drink too much. I can see myself…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
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If I can procure three hundred good substantial names of persons, or bodies, or institutions, I cannot fail to do…
— John James Audubon
See all 7,914 America Quotes »
