"And if you love only yourself, you will……" — Stephen Colbert

"And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself."

— Stephen Colbert

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321 Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert has 321 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today?…
Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you…
Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and…
Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the…
Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not…
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in'…
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it…
Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.

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More Funny Quotes

This quote is filed under Funny Quotes, one of 52,060 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would… — Hannah Arendt
These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin

See all 52,060 Funny Quotes »