Love Quote by Stan Tatkin
““Couples in distress too often turn to solutions that can be summed up by "You do your thing and I'll do my thing" or "You take care of yourself and I'll take care of myself." We hear pop psychology pronouncements such as "I'm not ready to be in a relationship" and "You have to love yourself before anyone can love you." Is any of this true? Is it really possible to love yourself before someone ever loves you? Think about it. How could this be true? If it were true, babies would come into this world already self-loving or self-hating. And we know they don't. In fact, human beings don't start by thinking anything about themselves, good or bad. We learn to love ourselves precisely because we have experienced being loved by someone. We learn to take care of ourselves because somebody has taken care of us.””
About This Quote
Source Book: "Wired for Love" by Stan Tatkin, 2012
Self‑love develops through being loved; it isn’t innate but learned via relational experiences.
In simple terms: We learn self‑love by being loved.
Key Takeaway
Cultivate supportive relationships.
Themes
self‑love
relationships
psychology
Mood
thoughtful
inquisitive
Type
philosophical
psychological
When to use this quote
- therapy sessions
- parenting
- couples counseling
Key Concepts
attachment theory
emotional development
Questions to Reflect On
- Can you love yourself without others?
- How do relationships shape self‑esteem?
A Different Perspective
Self‑love without external love is unrealistic.
