Anticipate Quote by Selma Fraiberg
“An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is not discovered. But our two-year-olds and our three-year- olds experience guilt feelings only when they feel or anticipate disapproval from the outside. In doing this, they have taken the first steps toward the goal of conscience, but there is a long way ahead before the policeman outside becomes the policeman inside.”
About This Quote
Source Book: Child Development and Psychotherapy, Selma Fraiberg, 1975
Children develop internal moral standards gradually; early guilt arises from external judgment, later from internal conscience.
In simple terms: Kids first feel guilt because others disapprove, then develop inner conscience.
Key Takeaway
Encourage self‑reflection to nurture internal moral compass.
Themes
moral development
guilt
conscience
psychology
Mood
thoughtful
reflective
Type
educational
psychological
When to use this quote
- parenting
- education
- therapy
- child counseling
Key Concepts
internalization
self‑regulation
emotional growth
Questions to Reflect On
- How can caregivers foster inner conscience rather than reliance on external judgment?
- What practices help children transition from external to internal moral standards?
A Different Perspective
External approval alone cannot sustain moral behavior without internal values.
