Love Quote by Sandy Hotchkiss
““Some of these arrangements involve an exhibitionist Narcissist and a partner who is “in the closet.” The closet Narcissist is an unassuming type who has her feelers out for someone she can idealize. She needs to put the love object on a pedestal in order to hold herself together, because if her partner is wonderful and she can have him, then all the insecurities inside her will go away. In the Narcissist-closet Narcissist couple, it is actually the latter who is in control, feeding the grandiosity of the love object in order to inflate herself via osmosis. These relationships can be quite successful, as long as the idealizations and illusions can be sustained. But when unpleasant reality intrudes, love implodes.””
About This Quote
Source Book: "The Narcissist in Relationships" by Sandy Hotchkiss, 2021
A covert narcissist relies on idealizing a partner to maintain self‑esteem, but the relationship collapses when reality shatters the illusion.
In simple terms: Covert narcissists need a perfect partner to feel whole; reality breaks the fantasy.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and address idealization early.
Themes
psychology
relationships
selfesteem
Mood
anxious
reflective
Type
analytical
cautionary
When to use this quote
- dating
- therapy
- personal growth
Key Concepts
Narcissism
idealization
dependency
Questions to Reflect On
- How do you notice when idealization becomes unhealthy?
- What steps can protect self‑worth without a partner?
A Different Perspective
When the partner fails to meet the fantasy, the bond implodes.
