Cases Quote by Richard Jeni

“When one guy sees an invisible man he's a nut case; ten people see him it's a cult; ten million people see him it's a respected religion.”

Richard Jeni

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Cases Cult Funny Guy Invisible Invisible Man Life Men Millions Nuts People Religion Religious sects Ten

More by Richard Jeni

It is a sad fact that 50 percent of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the other half end in death.…

Richard Jeni

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There is no romance without some lying. That's what romance is - a little bit of Vaseline on the camera lens of life.

Richard Jeni

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I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but…

Richard Jeni

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I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

Richard Jeni

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Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders…

Richard Jeni

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Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

Richard Jeni

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Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.

Richard Jeni

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A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gasing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites. People whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda…

Richard Jeni

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Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person…

Richard Jeni

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It's always the guy who gets the diarrhea on the commercial at an inconvenient moment. As if you've ever been in a situation: 'You…

Richard Jeni

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Lobsters one of the only animals that have to put up with being alive in the restaurant. If you go to a steakhouse, folks…

Richard Jeni

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Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science…

Richard Jeni

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Explore all 54 Richard Jeni quotes

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You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding…

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I think we've all had enough of Coltrane saxophonists. There's a case of someone ruining a generation of saxophonists, as Louis Armstrong may have…

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Every wife ought to answer for her man. If the husband be engaged in a seditious club, or drinks mysterious healths, or be frugal…

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The world around us is an increasingly hostile and sinful place. Occasionally that splashes onto us, and perhaps, in the case of a few…

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If you followed the media you'd think that everybody in Africa was starving to death, and that's not the case; so it's important to…

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[As in the case of] alcohol prohibition, illegality has driven organized crime, sent countless people to jail, and killed many thousands. Repression does not…

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