"I have to drink this much to be…" — Patton Oswalt

"I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you."

— Patton Oswalt

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72 Quotes by Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt has 72 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire,…
Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?
My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will…
There are times when I have to take, I call it a 'silence bath,' where I shut off all of…
I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time…
The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides,…
It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate.
We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's…
Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what…

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More Drink Quotes

This quote is filed under Drink Quotes, one of 3,544 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

High thoughts must have high language. — Aristophanes
If you have children, you don't want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It's just not good. — Billie Joe Armstrong
Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered. — Wystan Hugh Auden
It's frightening how easy it is to commit murder in America. Just a drink too much. I can see myself… — Wystan Hugh Auden
I can't drink whiskey like I used to back then, that's for sure. — Sebastian Bach
Age appears to be best in four things; old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to… — Francis Bacon
I don't have any particular thing I do ritualistically. I do the same thing every day. I get up. Drink… — Erykah Badu
I drink a bucket of white tea in the morning. I read about this tea of the Emperor of China,… — Antonio Banderas
A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
I juice a lot; I get as much protein as I can, because being a vegan, there isn't much protein.… — Travis Barker
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to… — Dave Barry
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry

See all 3,544 Drink Quotes »