Patton Oswalt Quotes

72 quotes in 1094 categories

• Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.
• Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.
• Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?
• My advice to you is be boring, square, asshole parents... When I have kids, the most recent CD I will own - Phil Collins, No…
• There are times when I have to take, I call it a 'silence bath,' where I shut off all of the external gadgets. I go…
• I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I was able to…
• The idea of, 'The journey is the destination' is put into action by browsing in an indie record store. Besides, a human being is a…
• It’s the method of consumption, not what’s on the plate.
• We need conservatives that can accept gays, and then we need hippies that can shave and bathe.
• I'm still very much an atheist, except that I don't necessarily see religion as being a bad thing. So, that's a weird thing that I'm…
• Even if you're popular, there are times when you just feel like you're not a part of things.
• Any acting job that I ever got, I always treated it like I was a neophyte, I didn't know what I was doing and I…
• As you get older, as a comedian, and keep doing it, what you actually start to cherish on stage is not the build-up to the…
• I love the beginning of Magnolia, the thing about the dealer. That scene is genius. Brilliantly acted.
• Knowing comedy is knowing human nature.
• I'm so beyond genre, drama, comedies, I just want to do really good, interesting projects.
• So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and…
• George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
• I had a romance novel inside me, but I paid three sailors to beat it out if me with steel pipes.
• We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

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