Computers Quote by Neil Gaiman
““Along with the standard computer warranty agreement which said that if the machine 1) didn't work, 2) didn't do what the expensive advertisements said, 3) electrocuted the immediate neighborhood, 4) and in fact failed entirely to be inside the expensive box when you opened it, this was expressly, absolutely, implicitly and in no event the fault or responsibility of the manufacturer, that the purchaser should consider himself lucky to be allowed to give his money to the manufacturer, and that any attempt to treat what had just been paid for as the purchaser's own property would result in the attentions of serious men with menacing briefcases and very thin watches. Crowley had been extremely impressed with the warranties offered by the computer industry, and had in fact sent a bundle Below to the department that drew up the Immortal Soul agreements, with a yellow memo form attached just saying: 'Learn, guys...””
About This Quote
Source Short story: “The Immortal Soul” by Neil Gaiman, 2005
A satirical take on absurd warranty clauses, highlighting how legal language can absurdly absolve manufacturers of responsibility.
In simple terms: Legal jargon can absurdly shift blame.
Key Takeaway
Read contracts critically.
Themes
satire
law
consumer rights
Mood
cynical
humorous
Type
satirical
commentary
When to use this quote
- buying electronics
- signing service agreements
- negotiating contracts
- understanding warranties
Key Concepts
legal absurdity
corporate liability
Questions to Reflect On
- Do you read the fine print?
- How would you simplify complex legal language?
A Different Perspective
Real warranties may not be as extreme; always verify actual terms.
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