There's something to that in both directions," said…
““There's something to that in both directions," said Ekaterin mildly. "Nothing is more guaranteed to make one start acting like a child than to be treated like one. It's so infuriating. It took me the longest time to figure out how to stop falling into that trap." "Yes, exactly," said Kareen eagerly. "You understand! So—how did you make them stop?" "You can't make them—whoever your particular them is—do anything, really," said Ekaterin slowly. "Adulthood isn't an award they'll give you for being a good child. You can waste . . . years, trying to get someone to give that respect to you, as though it were a sort of promotion or raise in pay. If only you do enough, if only you are good enough. No. You have to just . . . take it. Give it to yourself, I suppose. Say, I'm sorry you feel like that, and walk away. But that's hard.””
About This Quote
Source Novel: The Ship Who Sang, Lois McMaster Bujold, 1994
Adult responsibilities aren't granted by others; they must be claimed by taking personal responsibility and ending childish expectations.
In simple terms: Adults must take responsibility, not expect rewards for being good kids.
Key Takeaway
Own your growth, stop seeking external validation.
Themes
responsibility
growth
self‑reliance
Mood
determined
reflective
Type
philosophical
advice
When to use this quote
- career advancement
- relationship conflict
- personal boundaries
- self‑improvement
Key Concepts
maturity
expectation
self‑respect
Questions to Reflect On
- What personal standards will you set for yourself?
- How can you practice self‑respect without external approval?
A Different Perspective
It can be hard to let go of the hope that others will change.