Oh my god Quote by Leslie Langtry

““Oh my God. I just got dumped by a red headed mortician in a funeral home named Crummy's, after pretending to be a circus freak at a visitation I had just crashed. I was pretty sure there'd be no bouncing back from this. -Dakota Bombay””

Leslie Langtry

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Oh my god Red Head

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“Ita feri ut se mori sentiat." ("Strike him so that he can feel he is dying.") —Suetonius”

Leslie Langtry

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“Rule #1: If you can make it look like someone else did it, go for it.”

Leslie Langtry

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“A teenage boy with a Mohawk sat across from me, sneering. I’d seen that look before. Why was it a problem to knit in public? “My grandma knits.” I ignored him. “So what are you making, Grandma?” Mohawk’s voice was ugly. I arched my eyebrow. “A cashmere cock ring. Your grandma ever knit one of those?” The kid’s eyes grew…

Leslie Langtry

“You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style." —Vladimir Nabokov”

Leslie Langtry

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“Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting.”

Leslie Langtry

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“We are all dead men on leave." —Eugene Levine, comedian”

Leslie Langtry

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“On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero." —Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club”

Leslie Langtry

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“Assassin fun fact #1: Did you know you could kill someone with a simple overdose of table salt?”

Leslie Langtry

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“Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it." —P. J. O'Rourke”

Leslie Langtry

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“Things are pretty black and white when your options are either live or die.”

Leslie Langtry

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“Dekker kicked out, connecting with my left shin, and I dropped him for a second. That was all the time he needed to grab a weapon. Without thinking I pulled out a similar item for the box. And that was how we ended up fighting a duel with plastic lightsabers. We must have looked strange - two middle aged men…

Leslie Langtry

“There's something about dealing in death that brings out the maternal in me.”

Leslie Langtry

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A lot of times when I see people on the street and they ask me, 'How do you think of that? I bomb atomically,…

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I was shopping at my local mall in Dallas that I've gone to for like three years now. And everyone was like "Oh my…

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One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here in England, but no one's going to have a sign in front of their house. Nobody's going to wear buttons. And in France, same thing. In America I like that people have signs and buttons and…

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Did he only wear a shirt during class? Oh my God, he seriously lived across the hall. Jacob was going to flip... and probably…

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“Oh my God. For most of eternity, I won't exist. That leaves two options: live forever or destroy the universe. Hm... I may have…

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He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim’s. “None of that in my house!”…

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“Oh my gods. The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. "Mom!”

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I kind of wish people didn’t know who I am, that I could just lie, say I’m a speechwriter for Obama. This is what I said before Twilight. And then Obama came along and picked up all these young writers. I found out this guy, Jon Favreau — who’s not the actor Jon Favreau — is writing for him. And…

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If you don't know, your labor unions and community organizations, there's somebody you can ask to guide you. A lot of people, especially in…

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People were always like, 'Oh my God, you're going to be working with your girlfriend? Are you freaking out? Is that going to, like,…

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I love dipping into worlds at a fast and furious pace. A little glimpse allows the audience to put together the rest of that world in their brain. I love sketches that require the audience to piece together the comedic engine themselves. Give them all the information but not tell them what the scene is about so they can have…

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Oh my god Quote by Leslie Langtry

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