Elementary school Quote by Justin Halpern

“You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.”

— Kami Garcia

“I’ve become one of those parents who demand their children go to the bathroom. “But I don’t have to.” “Well, go anyway.”

— Jim Gaffigan

“Yeah, kids who trash bathrooms. Maybe those kids are matter more than even the good little ones who sit in the front row and…

— Anthony Breznican

“I can shit anywhere, at any time. It’s one of my finer qualities. Some might say my finest.”

— Justin Halpern

“Listen—when you're on the toilet, from the point of view of the toilet, you are not an icon taking a crap. You are a…

— Tori Amos

“One of the few times in a man's life when he is not full of shit!! The morning of a colonoscopy. Enough said!”

— Jim Lawrence

“I didn’t think he was in danger of drowning while urinating! Toilet monsters that grab you by the wang and pull you down to…

— Nadia Scrieva

“I'm the bathroom master I'm a real bowl blaster Don't mess with me 'Cause I can mess it up faster With just one flush…

— R.U. Slime

Yeah, my kid's a genius because he shits in a toilet.

— Nikhil Saluja

“I’m almost afraid to tell you. Let’s put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country.”

— Elle Lothlorien

“be sick or anything make sure you make it to the toilet.”

— Madison Grace

“There’s an indoor toilet, he informs us (though, as we soon find out, this “toilet” is a terrifying open hole above the tracks).”

— Christina Baker Kline