Quote by Josie Brown

“can I help it if I’m a better assassin than I am a housewife?”

— Josie Brown

“Important Tip: Avoid arsenic in any dishes. Seems that a dead guest has a way of putting a damper on a party. Go figure.”

— Josie Brown

“The key to spring cleaning is to be ruthless! Throw out anything and everything you never use. (Or that may be incriminating. Burn, if…

— Josie Brown

“He’s lucky I’m not wearing my six-inch fuck-me stilettos.”

— Josie Brown

“I grew up in libraries, and I hope I've learned never to take them for granted. A thriving library is the heart of its…

— Josie Brown

“Putting out the trash is a dirty job, but let’s face it—someone has to do it. Whereas many smart wives are able to cajole…

— Josie Brown

“Tidy Tip: Dig deep, and be sure to cover the body in a heavy layer of slaked lime—also known as calcium hydroxide, or Ca(OH)—which…

— Josie Brown

“Helpful Hint: Some Berettas are compact enough to fit into even the smallest evening clutch.”

— Josie Brown

“Pies are so much fun to make—and so simple! All it takes to make a tender, flaky crust is the right amount of vegetable…

— Josie Brown

“There will always be a boogie man. Politicians need one.”

— Josie Brown

“Granted, your hard-working hubby is doing his fair share just by bringing home the bacon. But by encouraging him to take on a couple…

— Josie Brown

“Any woman can be both the perfect housewife and an accomplished assassin, because both functions require the same qualities: creativity; a never-say-die attitude; and…

— Josie Brown